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Monday, December 11th, 2006
8:41 pm - she's got sauce!
classic rock final--
estimated time needed: 20 minutes
actual time taken: 17 minutes.

hahah one down, 2 more to go, 12.5 hours of study time left.


damn, what is it about the end of the semester that just puts people in the mood to bone? i have been booty-called more times in the past week than i can ever remember happening in one week before, and by 3 different people... hahahah suckaas, too bad for you- i'm not as slutty as you hoped i'd be!!!


oh also, if i had an english bulldog, i would name him Chas. I think this is also an acceptable name for a little boxer puppy, which i will own...someday...


aaaaaaaaaaand call me emo (fuckers),
but this makes me so happy!


hugs for everyone!!!

(heinous?)

Thursday, December 7th, 2006
10:45 am - why I am an asshole, reason #16:
Yesterday i woke up with the song "I Want a Hippopotmaus For Christmas" stuck in my head. i really couldn't stop singing it. So, i figured, since I had to live with it stuck in my head, everybody else at work should too. So I played it a few times on the office computer, and continued to sing it non-stop throughout the day. They were all QUITE pleased with me... and I think my they might have even been humming it in elevator when we went upstairs to clock out. HAHhhahahaa, mission accomplished.

in other newsCollapse )

THE END.

(2 "MOST heinous!"s | heinous?)

Wednesday, October 25th, 2006
8:34 pm - my dad is a weirdo
My dad is the only person i know who would MAIL a LIVE tarantula to his friend. What the fuck!!

So, his friend up north wanted to show his nephew a tarantula, but they don't have any up there. So my dad happened to find one today, and caught it.... then cut off the top half of a milk jug, put shredded newspaper in it (which made the tarantula really really angry, apparently), put a screen on top, then put that in a box filled with more shredded newspaper.

Don't worry, he wrote "fragile" and "this end up" on the box.

His friend is already collecting crickets to feed to the poor thing when it arrives. (If it hasn't had a heart attack and died, that is).



HOLY SHIT my family cracks me up sometimes!!!

(heinous?)

Thursday, October 19th, 2006
9:45 am - drunk pumpkin face!
how appropriate.



You Are



A Drunk Pumpkin Face



You would make a good pumpkin martini.

(heinous?)

Wednesday, October 11th, 2006
7:18 pm - long time no livejournal
what you've been missing:
went to italy. ridiculously amazing.
summer was summer and went by too fast, i drank tooooo much.
got another frickin sweet tattoo. stewed, screwed, and tattooedCollapse ) suckaa.

started LAST year of college...fuckin weird.


so, livejournal, that's what's new with me. what's new with you....?

nevermind... i'm oooooovvvvvver it!!
Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting
aaaaaaahahah.

(heinous?)

Saturday, May 13th, 2006
9:01 am
soooooooooooo the motherboard of my computer might be completely fried. fanfuckingtastic! hopefully my friend can still pull my data from my hard drive. he's kind of a computer genius, so there's still some hope. new computer for me!

school's over...weird. one year left. awesome.

i spent a week in boston, that was pretty great. but now i kind of don't know where i am or what i'm doing or where i'm supposed to be or what i'm supposed to be doing, or what time zone i'm in..... oh and i'm going to italy in two days.

what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!!?!?

current mood: confuuuuused!!

(1 "MOST heinous!" | heinous?)

Friday, April 21st, 2006
11:36 am - good quotes from last night.
just thought i'd share the alcoholism that is Reverse Osmosis....


sarah: "well.. why don't you stop drinking?..."
dorsey: "...because... why WOULD i??"


reid: wait. where's jimmmeeean?
emily: who's janine?
r: jim beeaan.
e: jim beaM?
r: yeah. jim beeeaamNNMMMAH.





ohsweetjesus is school over yet?!?

(heinous?)

Monday, April 17th, 2006
12:21 am - saaaaaaave meeeeeeee jeebus!
oh man. school is almost over. i can't wait.some of my neighbors have senioritis and it rubs off on me.
i got home from class at 3:30 on wednesday, and ken says, "what are you doing? you want a gin and tonic?!" and i replied, "hmmm ....what day is it? wednesday? uhh... fuck YES i want a gin and tonic."
so i had that and another drink, and went to a meeting. then i came back home and had another drink while i wrote a paper about marilyn manson. then drank MORE with the neighbors and watched Back to the Future2.

well i thought the whole day was pretty funny, so i posted a little bulletin about it on myspace:
why college is ridiculous reason number 28:Only in college can you get drunk at 3:30 on a wednesday afternoon and write a paper about heavy metal.
...not that i did it or anything... i'm just saying, if you're in college, you might want to try it sometime...


and the MINISTER of my church back home --who by the way is 31 and relatively younger than what you picture the stereotypical minister to be-- replies with:
number 28 1/2: Only in college can you drop acid, write a paper while tripping and call it a senior project.
Again, not that I have. And I don't recommend it, but someone apparently did it at my undergrad (it is the senior project of lore) as a chance for the rest of us to say "Hey administration WTF?"




...wait... what?

weeeeeeeirrrrd. you're a minister! don't talk to me about dropping acid!
(...i bet it was totally him. at least i hope it was...)


in other news, two weeks from this moment i will be a very happy girl in boston..for a week!! then back to california for a few days and 3 weeks from this moment i will be in europe. probably catching a flight from frankfurt to rome. basically, i'm just saying that may = fucking ridiculous.

oh. and i think i just got a booty call 4 days in advance. it's not supposed to work like that, is it? hahaaahaaaoh what a slut.

(8 "MOST heinous!"s | heinous?)

Tuesday, March 28th, 2006
12:18 am - wtf mate
sooooooo this morning i mentioned that my eye is twitching and looooooooook at what was on msn health today. i don't know why it's specifically men's health, because obviously women's eyes twitch sometimes too.


ALSO, i forgot earlier to include a prose passage i threw together on my refridgerator using magnetic poetry consisting of words associated with rock & roll. keep in mind i had been hanging out with my stoner downstairs-neighbors and wasn't entirely sober but feeling awfully creative:

A Raucous Night of Rock&Roll

I'm all about the scene
big sweet sex explodes in spandex when his
smashing lyrics scream
& I say
punk hair always gets the chick
so jam this platinum hard on into her soul
drink my musical love
dig it



(for the record... i tried to place each line as it is on my fridge, you know, for aesthetic purposes, but i don't think livejournal will post it like that.)

...what the fuck?!? jam this patinum hard on into her soul? oh man, i crack myself up sometimes.

(3 "MOST heinous!"s | heinous?)

Monday, March 27th, 2006
8:06 am - monday mondaaaaay!
i drink more coffee than i think i do.

but this morning, i made the tastiest coffee i've ever had. really! i'm awesome.



Also, George Carlin is pretty smart. Except I don't think he actually wrote this. but whatever, still good food for thought (which is better than no food. stress makes me not so hungry these days):

Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

i forget those things a lot.


...in other news, my bottom eyelid started twitching a couple days ago and probably won't stop until school is over. so, that's fun.

(heinous?)

Tuesday, March 14th, 2006
11:31 pm - whaaaaaat!
wooooooah, long time no post... what's up, useless livejournal??
i guess i'll just take a minute to tell a joke that a certain fabulous someone told me.

so there are these three mice that live in the wall at a bar, they come out of their respective holes to sit at the bar and have a few drinks, and they start talking about how fucking badass they are.
the first mouse brags, "i'm so hardcore i put fuckin rat poison in my shots and take it like a man"
so the second mouse says "whatever man, i'll take the cheese right from the fucking mouse trap, i don't give a shit!"
and as the third mouse throws back his last shot, he says "fuck you guys... i've gotta go home and fuck the cat."



right. so. anyway, i got to go to florida for freeeeeeeeeee last week. good skinnydipping weather there. especially since there was a lot of free alcohol. but fuck being stuck in LA for the rest of spring break. i really miss the central coast. oh well. i'll live.
....................

..and now, for your viewing pleasure....Collapse )


p.s. i think i'm smitten. who knew.

(1 "MOST heinous!" | heinous?)

Monday, November 7th, 2005
10:29 pm - new ink! yesssss
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

soooooo what do you think? anybody recognize it??

i like my feetCollapse )


in one month i will be taking a final. that rules. there's light at the end of the tunnel!

(2 "MOST heinous!"s | heinous?)

Wednesday, October 19th, 2005
7:53 am
"Thus personal beauty and great wealth, bodily strength, and all similar things, soon pass away; the noble achievements of the intellect are immortal like the soul itself. Physical advantages, and the material gifts of fortune, begin and end; all that comes into existence, perishes; all that grows, must one day decay. But the soul, incorruptible and eternal, is the ruler of mankind; it guides and controls everything, subject itself to no control."


...scary how applicable this quote is to life today. we're doooooooooomed!

(heinous?)

Sunday, October 9th, 2005
11:15 pm - whiiiiiiiiiining
and thus begins the mental breakdown. most heinous....Collapse )
look at me, all in a pessimistic mood! i hate it!

anyway, last week i got door checked. remember?
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

(2 "MOST heinous!"s | heinous?)

Tuesday, October 4th, 2005
8:45 pm - shpadoinkle
sooooooo.... i never really do quizzy things, or at least i never post them.... but this was just about dead-on. crazy.


ColorQuiz.com joanne took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test!

"Seeks affectionate, satisfying and harmonious rela..."


Click here to read the rest of the results.






in other news, my life is about to spin rapidly out of control. i can feel it. but i'm not doing anything to stop it. i don't think i'll have a nervous breakdown, probably just engage in various forms of self-destructive behavior to escape stressful situations. because EVERYONE knows that works.


oh, i got door-cheked last week while i was riding my bike home, and my leg is fucked up. i'll post a picture of it sometime, it's pretty gross.

(1 "MOST heinous!" | heinous?)

Thursday, September 15th, 2005
11:30 am
soooooooo i thought some of these were funny....
it's the slogan generator

these are the best ones:
"feel the raw naked Joanne of the road"
"Get in my Joanne"
"Let's face the music and Joanne"

it also works really well for funny words:
"go on, get your boobies out"
"designed for Heinous, engineered to last" and "taste the Heinous"
"plop plop, fizz fizz, oh, what a Penis it is!"
"don't get mad, get Vagina"

go on, try it.


.....in the meantime.....Collapse )

(2 "MOST heinous!"s | heinous?)

Wednesday, August 31st, 2005
1:55 am - best compliment EVER
best compliment EVER

Mark: you could sing "animal crackers" to me and i would melt


...maybe i WILL

(heinous?)

Monday, August 29th, 2005
11:30 pm - help!
so i'm going to this party on saturday and the theme is "anything goes but clothes"........
that means i have to get creative. any suggestions? OH and things like towels, pillow cases, and sheets don't count. it has to be non-fabric material.
....SOOOOO i need to find something that will hopefully not be too uncomfortable, and something that won't rip.
i hope i get just the right amount of drunk not to notice if i'm cold..

any ideas?

does anyone even look at this thing?

(7 "MOST heinous!"s | heinous?)

Saturday, August 27th, 2005
9:49 pm - holy long time no post, batman.
sometimes i wonder what it feels like to get hit by a car/bus.


is that weird? no really, is that weird?


i'm getting over a sinus infection.
i think i have a rendezvous on top of a mountain a week from today.
i like pictures like this!Collapse )

AND, i looooooooooove dane cook.

and remember,
Image hosted by Photobucket.com ...biotch!....


<3

(1 "MOST heinous!" | heinous?)

Sunday, July 3rd, 2005
3:06 pm - "nice cuban rhythym! you guys TOTALLY rule!!!"
...has anyone seen Mad Hot Ballroom??......wow.

ADVENTURE #1: so a couple fridays ago, i decided at 6pm to drive to san jose for an adventure. i call up dez and say "hey, you wanna go to san jose in about half an hour to see westbound train play?" and, of course, she and chad were down for a spontaneous road trip.

so we get on the freeway, and i notice my car is kind of loud and shaky, and i say "OHHhhh man, i probably need to get my tires rotated as soon as we get back tomorrow.... i'm sure we'll be fine to san jose and back..." ...[did i hear somebody knock on wood..??]

we're making good time, but about 9:15, literally 20 minutes away from my friend's place where westbound was playing, fucking FLAT TIRE. scary! there was barely a shoulder to pull on to, and we didn't have a light, so we made AAA come and change the tire. made it to christian's shourtly after the band started. too bad they had to stop after only a few songs because as the cops told christian, "you live in sort of a weird neighborhood... if it was a miriachi band the party could probably continue all night"
either way, it was probably the best party...EVER. everyone was so nice and friendly and the perfect amount of drunk.


then, westbound train came to hang out in a-town and record a new demo. i looooooooooooove love love those boys. i miss them lots already!



ADVENTURE #2: kyle got home from mexico!!! woohoooo! i've been counting down the days. so, we're in san luis celebrating, just as every friday night should be celebrated, and people decide to go to a party that i think will be lame [because i will know maybe 7 people there...]. DAMN was i right. as soon as we walked up the steps to the house, i wanted to leave. such retarded people there. damn.

anyway, we everntually did leave...5 of us walking home, a couple of the boys had skateboards, and we're walking down california st. right before the CHP headquarters, and robby LOSES his skateboard off of the overpass, into the median of the FREEWAY. oooooooooops.

of course, he has to try to go get it. he hops the fence, and starts making his way through a big jungley mess down the hill, but is taking FOREVER. so kyle hops the fence and goes down to the freeay, while we're standing on the overpass telling him when it's clear to run across the freeway and find the board and run back. it was kind of like frogger. except the freeway's not really busy around 1:30am. just kidding, i have NO idea what time it was.

so kyle has the board, and we start walking home again. Wait. where's robby? still lost in the jungle. we tell him to just jump the fence , but it was pretty high, and he says. "i can't! i'm too fucked up!" but eventually he found the end of the fence, which is how he got in the jungle in the first place.

kyle and i were talking about it the next morning, and we were thinking, DAMN how retarded was that?? running across the freeway while far from sober...loud drunk kids drawing attention to it, right by the chp place... oh man. that's funny.




HEY. 4th of july is tomorrow. you wish you were going to be in cayucos. yup. call me if you're there!!!

(heinous?)

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